she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
