I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
