I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I still have a little drunk in my system
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
