At least make sure they are 18
Why
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I am naked and annoyed.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
