No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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