I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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