Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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