tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
