u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Randomize