We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
