Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize