okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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