where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
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I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
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When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I believe in your delicious
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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