yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
