I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
