The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
