I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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