help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
