we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
