I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
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Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
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She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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