The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
