Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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