I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
