Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
