also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
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