If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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