Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
