So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
