So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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