i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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