We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
