tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
