some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
