I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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