do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
