Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
