I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
