she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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