it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
