Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Can i not drive my cunt home
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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