Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
