I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
