honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
