Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
