Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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