The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize