...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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