there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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