I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize