Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
