Betty ford says i'm here all night
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Randomize
