so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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