You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
