That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
