Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
