so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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