So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize