I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize