i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
