I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
