I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
there was a trapeze. enough said
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
