I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
