I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
