You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
