you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
